When trust is lost or diminished, there is always regret, despair, anger, and shame
Through my work of working with families and couples; if a couple is willing and ready to work through mistakes, there is room for trust to be restored. Trust is not just a “give or take” or something that one is entitled to automatically; trust must be earned.
The partner that has broken the trust must be willing to reestablish the trust no matter what it takes. This requires a ton of patience and commitment; not just from the partner who has broken the trust—this requires the entire partnership, team effort, all hand on deck!
Building trust, reestablishing trust, and earning trust is a journey
Here are some steps that can assist you with traveling the road of rebuilding trust:
Heartfelt apology
Identify and verbalize the WHY.
Patience is a virtue.
This is not the step where things happen overnight. Seriously, Patience is a virtue, and it is important that each of you understand this! On this road of rebuilding trust, there will likely be an urge from the unfaithful partner to take the shortcuts during this journey. Both partners need to be reminded that this will take time, courage, and strength of character for trust to be restored.
Dish the unrealistic expectations, create new expectations
Be Specific
Step Six
Overachieve and exceed expectations
As the expression goes, deliver the goods! In an effort to build trust, resolve and get back on good terms with your partner. Here is not the time to overthink. Who knows, you might find yourself promising to do almost anything. You may have good intentions but be unable to deliver. Stretch yourself a little and overachieve. Remember this is the road of rebuilding trust.
It is okay to promise what you know you can handle, and it could hurt if you exceed the expectations. The process of rebuilding trust is fragile. You can seriously compound the hurt by not delivering on your promises.Step Seven
Healthy communication matters
Step Eight
Consistency is key
Step Nine
Have a strong commitment and a positive attitude towards change.
Being hurt by someone in the past may have affected your ability to trust yourself and your own instincts. If you’re struggling with this, taking time to work through it, maybe with a friend or professional could be very helpful in regaining trust in yourself and your ability to trust others.