Like most people, hearing about the passing of Regina King’s son broke me. If you’ve been following them in the media, you can see the love that they clearly share for each other.
At the 2019 Golden Globes, Regina King gave an interview where she stated that her son “makes her happier than anything in the whole world” and it was scary for her to step into a role of a mother who loses her son, like in the Netflix series, 7 seconds. That same interview, Ian Alexander Jr calls her a “super mom” and beams about how she does not let her bad days ruin their time together.
It’s very clear to see from interviews that they had a lot of love for each other, and my heart breaks watching Regina King’s worst nightmare actualize. With his passing, many people are also realizing that love is not enough to overcome depression.
At the 2019 Golden Globes, Regina King gave an interview where she stated that her son “makes her happier than anything in the whole world” and it was scary for her to step into a role of a mother who loses her son, like in the Netflix series, 7 seconds. That same interview, Ian Alexander Jr calls her a “super mom” and beams about how she does not let her bad days ruin their time together.
It’s very clear to see from interviews that they had a lot of love for each other, and my heart breaks watching Regina King’s worst nightmare actualize. With his passing, many people are also realizing that love is not enough to overcome depression.
Photo: Yahoo Image
Depression has several causes, some of which are unknown, but we do know that neurotransmitters, which naturally occur in the brain, likely play a role in depression, and their imbalance is what effects our ability to maintain stable moods. Low levels of norepinephrine, serotonin, and dopamine are all associated with various aspects of depression. When our bodies are not producing enough of these neurotransmitters, depression is more likely to occur.
With that being said, in the black community, we often look at depression as a personal failure, and not as a brain disorder. The patriarchal society we live in teaches black men to suppress their feelings. They often receive messages about how it isn’t “manly” to cry, or appropriate to show any emotion outside of anger. These messages start young. How many times have you heard folks tell little boys to “man up” or be told to stop crying when they are hurting? So, when men are suffering, they are often suffering in silence.
The patriarchy also limits their abilities to share with each other, for fear of looking “weak” at worse, or weird at best. There may also be a level of insecurity that exists within black men. Who can they turn to for support when they are supposed to be the provider for everyone else? Because of this, bonds between men can often be formed over superficial things, instead of important topics like mental health.
With that being said, in the black community, we often look at depression as a personal failure, and not as a brain disorder. The patriarchal society we live in teaches black men to suppress their feelings. They often receive messages about how it isn’t “manly” to cry, or appropriate to show any emotion outside of anger. These messages start young. How many times have you heard folks tell little boys to “man up” or be told to stop crying when they are hurting? So, when men are suffering, they are often suffering in silence.
The patriarchy also limits their abilities to share with each other, for fear of looking “weak” at worse, or weird at best. There may also be a level of insecurity that exists within black men. Who can they turn to for support when they are supposed to be the provider for everyone else? Because of this, bonds between men can often be formed over superficial things, instead of important topics like mental health.
Signs of depression can include asking yourself if you’re worthy of life, or feelings of hopelessness. Depression can look like irritability on the daily basis, or not having the motivation to get out of bed. It can include waking up each day and being tired of living. These thoughts and feelings are detrimental to our mental health, and tell-tale signs of depression.
Depression thrives in an environment where loneliness wins, and to fight it requires a lot of internal work. It is not enough to be loved by those around you when brain is not producing the necessary chemicals to sustain happiness. Bottling emotions instead of expressing them can lead to worsening depression symptoms, like suicidal thoughts, or even death. It’s important to seek therapy if you are feeling depressed, and to do so in an environment that understands you as an authentic human being, and not a role you play in society.
Depression thrives in an environment where loneliness wins, and to fight it requires a lot of internal work. It is not enough to be loved by those around you when brain is not producing the necessary chemicals to sustain happiness. Bottling emotions instead of expressing them can lead to worsening depression symptoms, like suicidal thoughts, or even death. It’s important to seek therapy if you are feeling depressed, and to do so in an environment that understands you as an authentic human being, and not a role you play in society.
I asked my favorite black man, my best friend, for words of advice to give men seeking therapy for the first time. “To men starting the journey: give yourself permission to feel.”
It’s important for black men to shed the stereotypes imposed on them to heal. Therapy is one step in the journey towards healing from depression. It’s important to know that you are not alone, and there are people waiting to help you. The journey towards wellness begins with a single step.
It’s important for black men to shed the stereotypes imposed on them to heal. Therapy is one step in the journey towards healing from depression. It’s important to know that you are not alone, and there are people waiting to help you. The journey towards wellness begins with a single step.